Un tocco di stile alla tua vita.

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Rubrica di Lady Ayame

My philosophical lifehack recommendation!

Weekly Topic: A Small Lifehack to Share

Sep 7, 2020

Dear Cafetalk Community,

I hope you are doing well! It's getting cooler already in the morning and evenings in Canada. During the day, it's still quite warm. I haven't been going out much except for an occasional dinner out. Thanks to Cafetalk, I'm safe teaching English inside my cozy home!
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[My philosophical lifehack recommendations:]

Some of the following advice may seem obvious to some of you. I really think it depends on your life experience and the maturity you've developed facing life's adversities. I wanted to share the following because it took me a long time to learn these significant precepts even though it may seem like common sense at first.

Additionally, the word "lifehack" usually means something more practical that makes your life a little easier or more efficient. My suggestions are not exactly about making ice out of wine or folding your clothes just right, but I hope you find it fodder for thought instead.

[lifehack - Definition:]
(noun)

a strategy or technique adopted in order to manage one's time and daily activities in a more efficient way.

(Dictionary.com)
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On the other hand, I would like to offer some of my hard-earned advice that may give some of you a shortcut to achieving something akin to happiness in your life. Of course, life is not always happy, but it may give you some relief from the burden and anxiety you carry living in the world today. I wanted to share what I learned through my own, often painful, life experiences.

["Here goes nothing!". . . It's an American expression]

1.) You cannot change or control anybody else but yourself.

This is a tough lesson to learn, but it's an important one. You may think that if you only try hard enough or if you only love them more, the other person will change. The truth is you have absolutely no control over other people's thoughts or actions. It follows to reason, then, that trying to change or control others is a waste of your time. You can only change yourself! The only thing you can control is your reaction to how people treat you or what they say about you.

The bottom line is why worry about it? If you can't change what others do or say, stop being critical of others or hurt by what others say about you. You can only control how you "react" to or engage in external triggers and negative influences.


You Cant Control Me Quotes. QuotesGram

2.) No matter how hard you try or how good of a person you think you are, not everyone is going to like you.

The fact that we are human makes us subjective. For that matter, our differences create the variety and spice of life, as they say, and makes the world more exciting! At the same time, everyone has their own biases, likes and dislikes, personal preferences, etc. So, obviously we are not going to agree on everything. Sometimes, no matter how hard you try, there are going to be people that may not like you for one reason or another.

At the end of the day, it's whether you like yourself or not is what really matters. This is a hard lesson to learn, but you can't please everybody. Be grateful for the people who choose to be in your life and don't worry too much about the others. I'm sure there are some people who you may not like too much even though you don't even know why.

Why waste time trying to please everyone? Let's respect our differences. Once again, we're back to . . . why worry about what other people do or say? At the same time, I advocate being attentive, considerate, and thoughtful towards one another.


Can't please everyone | Life quotes, Inspirational quotes, Quotes to live by

3.) You always have a choice.

If you feel stuck in an undesirable situation, it's best to change your surroundings. If there are people who are a negative influence in your life, feel free to cut them off to make your own life better. Of course, if they are family members, it may be impossible to cut off all contact. In that case, you can set your boundaries and limit your exposure to them. If you're in an abusive or unproductive relationship or situation, it's never too late to leave and start over to find happiness.

Power of Positivity on Instagram: “If you don't like where you are, Move!  You're not a tree… | Top motivational quotes, Work motivational quotes,  Good vibes meaning

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The above are just my opinions and are not set in stone, of course. It seems simple, but to actually live that way is the more challenging part. I try to get rid of actions that rob me of my energy or are a waste of my time. Of course, I'm only human but I try not to gossip, complain, judge or criticize others, think negative thoughts, or be quick to anger. As I said, I'm trying my best to be the best person I can even though I fall short in many ways. I figure as long as you keep striving towards improvement, at least you're going in the right direction. Hope the above helps you feel lighter!

Have a wonderful day! See you soon!

Warmest regards,

Lady Ayame

(Patricia Ayame Thomson)

This column was published by the author in their personal capacity.
The opinions expressed in this column are the author's own and do not reflect the view of Cafetalk.

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