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Lady Ayame 講師的專欄

Embrace Your Mistakes!

2019年3月3日

Dear Cafetalk Community,


how are you? I hope you're having a good year so far and things are going your way! It's very cold here in Canada and I’m surrounded by deep snow. The temperatures get as low as minus 30 and minus 40 degrees Celcius sometimes. I'm certainly glad to be teaching online Skype lessons where it's almost too warm inside. I shouldn’t complain considering the freezing weather outside. What a wonderful way to spend my time talking to friendly, gentle, and intelligent people on Cafetalk! It's always my pleasure to talk with you in English!


“Fear of Making Mistakes”


Today, I'm happy to share with you my own personal experiences about the fear of "making mistakes.” Did you know you are not the only one? Most people are afraid of making mistakes when learning a foreign language. However, based on my observations, this feeling seems to be even more prevalent and magnified in Japanese people.


I understand this fear firsthand because I’ve had the experience of living in Japan since I was born until I was 18 years old. Although I went to an International school and received my education entirely in English, I inculcated the most successful, harmonious, and effective way to behave and exist in Japan.


As a matter of fact, I was also shy, introverted, and modest like many other Japanese people. These traits were reinforced in me when my behavior seemed to work for me when I was a professional model in Japan. My meek, coquettish, and inwardly-directed personality seemed to work for me at auditions when meeting typical elderly Japanese businessmen and I landed countless jobs.


“Culture Shock After Moving to America”


However, when I first moved to the United States, I had to relearn and retrain myself not to be afraid of making a fool of myself in front of other people. If I was going to be a successful actress in Hollywood, my old, sweet, deferring, and subjugating attitude got me nowhere. In America, you have to “toot your own horn.” (<-- American idiom)


I can still hear it. “How old are you? Three years old?!” my acting teacher shouted at me in acting class. Confidence sells in America, especially in Hollywood. Actors who “appeared” to be the most confident and self-assured usually got the acting jobs. So, as hard as it was for me to shed my old personality, mannerisms, and insecurities in order to be able to act and make a livelihood. All the time and effort I spent in acting class went out of the window because I was not yet free enough in my behavior and attitude to become another character.


You can’t be shy and act at the same time. It’s a contradiction. The most important thing in acting is to focus on the given circumstances, the dialog, and the character’s thought process (or intentions).


“Shed the Unhealthy Notion that Making Mistakes is Terrible!”


In the same way, perhaps it might be helpful for you to shed the misguided notion that making mistakes is a terrible thing when learning a foreign language. As in acting, you might not become so nervous or self-conscious if you focus more on the task at hand --> which is to communicate with the other person using the same language.


Instead of focusing on grammar and vocabulary words, allow yourself to communicate freely with the words that you know. I know it’s frustrating when you cannot express yourself as well as you can in your native language. However, I believe you have to let go of this notion that you cannot make mistakes while you are learning English.


Not only is making mistakes a good thing, but it is even better if you are able to catch your own mistakes. When you really think about it, mistakes are the only way to improve and grow, especially if you want to incorporate new vocabulary words, try new grammar, say idioms you recently learned, or alter sentence structures.


“Don’t Let Your Fears Get in the Way of Doing the Things You Want to Do!”


For example, people are afraid of making mistakes when they are at a restaurant abroad. Naturally, English is an international language, so they want to use it when they travel. At the same time, many people are apprehensive and afraid to go to restaurants because they are afraid of making mistakes. These people have to remember that they are the guests and they are the ones being served. The waiters and waitresses are there to serve you and meet your every need regarding your meals. You can be speaking *Vulcan and they will be happy to take your hard-earned money anytime. (*The reference is to the American TV show and movies called, “Star Trek.”)


“Example Video Clip from an American TV Show → Designing Women”


The video below is a good example illustrating my ability to let go of the fear of making mistakes in front of other people. If you’re so inclined, please take a minute to view the video on YouTube below. I hope my appearance and my acting on the American TV Show made many people laugh when it aired on television!


However, I don’t think I could’ve done the part so convincingly if I had not let go of my fear to make a fool of myself. After a while, I started to embrace the freedom of no longer feeling self-conscious and always having to be “in control of myself.”


Please don’t think I’m like the way I am in the show. It’s called “acting.” I thoroughly enjoyed breaking the deeply-instilled stereotype of the quiet and subservient Asian woman, based on the prevalent portrayal found in American media, television, and movies.


[American TV Show: “Designing Women”]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xQmgWETB5Fo


“The Moral of the Story”


So, the moral of the story is to let go of your fear of failure and the fear of making mistakes. Of course, you need a pleasant and safe environment to practice the new language and be comfortable enough to make mistakes. I believe I can offer such an atmosphere that is conducive to learning English since I am a gentle, friendly, and easy-going English tutor.


Next time you have a “free talk” conversation online, why not take up this radical concept of “letting go of the fear of making mistakes” and say whatever comes to mind. Maybe it’s right or maybe it’s wrong, but either way, you will learn something. Also, I promise I won’t bite. (<-- American Idiom) How else can you improve without making mistakes? Do you want to move up to the next English proficiency level? Then, talk to me with complete abandon and let go of the many fears.


“Trust Yourself” → Give Yourself Credit


In addition, if you have been studying English for a long time now, begin to “trust yourself.” You can continue to doubt whether you are speaking English the right or wrong way, or you can just go ahead and try to say the English expression. That’s what I’m there for, so I can gently let you know when your English is not quite right grammatically, idiomatically, or figuratively.


Try to trust yourself that all the hours you put into learning English is paying off, and you can communicate without much effort. Be honest with your strengths and weaknesses. If you can speak English better than you can write or visa verse, then work on your weakness and try to catch up to the equivalent level as the other skills.

There are many ways to improve. Perhaps practicing, learning, and memorizing is one of the most significant efforts. At the same time, you also must let go of the fear of making mistakes. It is one of the primary obstacles and self-sabotaging acts foreign-language learners experience.


“Embrace Your Mistakes”


Embrace your mistakes. It’s one of the most important parts of learning a new language. Trust me… You’ll get over an enormous hurdle if you can learn to “try” new ways to speak, read, write, and listen to English. Every time you watch an English-speaking movie or listen to a podcast, you are improving even if it doesn’t feel like it at the time. Immerse yourself in English as much as possible. Keep on going and be free!


Warmest regards,


Lady Ayame


(Patricia Ayame Thomson)  




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