Learning to be brave

I'm a person who gets very anxious about starting new things; I need to know exactly what to expect from the experience before I jump in. Even starting Cafetalk was difficult for me, wondering if I'll be able to make conversation for long enough to fill a session, or provide a good experience for the people who put their trust in me. This has made things hard at times since moving to Japan, since I always worry and overthink about talking to anyone – what if they ask a question I'm not expecting and I don't understand or don't know the words to answer? What if I end up somewhere I'm not wanted/allowed because I didn't see/understand a sign? For my first month, I only bought food from konbini and supermarkets because I was too nervous about going to a cafe or restaurant etc and not understanding well enough! I've gotten a little better now, mostly thanks to friends who dragged me out places and started getting used to it, but I still choose to do most of my new experiences when I'm in Tokyo where I can take my best friend along!

Now that the weather is starting to cool down for autumn and it's less difficult to drag myself away from the air conditioner, I want to start trying new things again, forcing myself to be brave. I want to visit smaller places that are harder to get to, which means navigating more difficult public transport systems than the big city trains I'm used to. I want to talk to people and interact with them, even if it means making mistakes (and boy have I made some mistakes – I could write a whole post just about embarrassing Japanese blunders for you to laugh at me about). I want to make the most of living in such an amazing place, instead of getting nervous and hiding from new experiences.

I hope you all can be brave with me, and try something that scares you.

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