Good morning friends!

I will continue my series on 'Books that changed my life' tomorrow, but for today I wanted to start a new section in which I will describe some lessons I have been taught and giving analogies to illustrate these.

Today's lesson is called 'Crabs in the net' 

CRABS IN THE NET

My parents live in a small city on the coast in the UK, called Southampton. When walking along the seashore one day I noticed many crab catching nets laying along the floor by the fishing boats. To my surprise they were full of crabs, and had the top of the nets exposed so that the crabs could escape, but yet they were left unattended whilst the fisherman went back in the water to catch more. Why is this?!

Upon watching the crabs in the net I noticed that a crab would climb up the net away from the rest of the group, and nearly reach his or her escape point. At the moment that it would reach freedom from the trapped environment, and liberation from their impending death - the rest of the crabs would pull this crab back down to the bottom with them again. Another crab would try to escape, and yet the others would pull it back down again. The cycle continually repeated as I watched in surprise!  

So why does this happen and what is the significance of this?

In truth - I do not know why this really happens. Perhaps the crabs are using an instinctive response and reaching out without knowing they are actually pulling another fellow crab away from freedom. Perhaps they are deliberately pulling them down, as they feel that if some of them are going to die, they should all die together!? Who knows.

But what I would like to illustrate here is how in life, when we are trying to achieve something or succeed at a particular task or goal - it is very often for those around us to 'PULL' us back down - telling us that our idea or goal is stupid, or that we are wasting our time.

A good example of this was when I told others I wanted to train to compete in 100 mile ultra marathon races. I was told 'you will never be able to do that'. 'Humans can't run 100 miles'. 'What is the point?!'. 'You're wasting your time' - and many other comments aimed at bringing me down.

Similarly with my diet as a plant based (vegan) eater, I have been told HUNDREDS of times how 'you can't live without eating meat'. 'if you don't drink milk your bones will be so weak!'. 'you will never be able to perform sports eating like this' and even some offensive comments on occassion!

So why does this happen? It is my belief that naturally when we are trying to achieve something which makes others feel uncomfortable, it is in our instinctive nature to 'bring others back down to our level'.

I am guilty of this myself too! I distinctively remember years ago when a friend decided that he wanted to take a break from drinking alcohol after a Christmas period of lots of food, alcohol and unhealthy living, my response was not the kind of response that a supportive friend should have had. Instead my instant reaction was - 'why?' and 'what am I going to do when we go out together in the evenings now?'.

I should have been pleased that my friend wanted to improve his life, as he had an unhappy attachment to alcohol, but yet I felt conscious inside that perhaps I ought to cut down on alcohol in order to benefit my own life. 

So I like to use the 'crabs in the net' theory to visually illustrate this example and make us realise that very often those around us will try and 'disuade' or talk us out of doing something which is personally meaningful and significant. 

Don't listen to these people! They are self conscious and want you to be brought down to their level of inactivity and lack of achievement as they feel guilty that you are improving your life, whilst they do not have the willpower to do the same.

Do you want to be the crab that escapes to it's freedom?

Or the crab that brings those back down to their impending doom....?

The choice is yours!

'PEOPLE WHO ARE SECURE OF THEMSELVES DON'T PULL OTHERS DOWN. THEY LIFT THEM UP'

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I am a highly experienced professional English teacher, Yoga Instructor, Tai Chi teacher, Nutrition Consultant and Personal Trainer from London, UK. I recently left London to work and travel around Japan on a Working Holiday Visa with my best friend and longtime girlfriend Ashley (who is also a teacher on Cafetalk : https://cafetalk.com/tutors/profile/?id=54542&lang=en ). We love sharing adventures travelling, teaching, exploring and understanding new cultures. We hope to speak with you soon!