I have never actually been a skinny girl, but for the most of my life I also wasn't considered as a big girl. It was not until I turned 16 that I slowly started gaining weight. Of course, every kilo I gained was killing my self-confidence, so I decided to start dieting.
Back then my idea of a diet was eating salad, apples, cucumbers and other low-calorie fruits and veggies all day. For the obvious reason , I never lasted more than 3 days. Every time I broke my diet, I ended up eating even more. From the age of 16 to the age of 21, every day of my life was exactly the same. I would wake up and start a diet, but by the end of the day I would find myself eating unbelievable amounts of food. After having a good ol' binge, I kept promising myself to start a new diet from tomorrow. I became a binge eater!
*75 kg in 2016
Day by day, my weight was increasing faster than ever before.
Once I reached 75 kg , I felt so bad in my own body. My confidence was at the all time low, pain in my right knee stopped me from climbing the stairs or going on the long hikes, I was feeling even too miserable to hang out with my friends (and not to even mention dating boys). That's when I realised I had to find my way back, and it took more than a salad to return to my old self. Overwhelmed by disappointment and sadness, I committed to improving my health and my life.
I wanted energy; I wanted to feel like the happy and joyous person that I was born to be. I started small by cutting junk food, bread and sweets out of my every day diet. Mentally, it was quite hard to stop eating all these delicious carbs, but once I got used to it, it was easier and easier. For me it was important to find balance.
As I tried to exercise and go to gym before, but never actually stuck to it, this time I wanted to change my exercise routine a bit. I was more focused on stretching and doing some pilates at home, walking everywhere instead of using public transport, and the most important- using stairs. I was afraid of climbing the stairs because of my painful knee, but I started small and increased the number of stairs every week. I was lucky that my faculty actually had 10 floors, and most of my classes were actually in the classroom located on the 10th floor.
I think that utilizing things I used every day was a key ingredient to my weight loss, because it didn’t actually feel like exercise, but it made me sweat and slowly I felt like I was gaining back my stamina. I trusted the process and stayed disciplined.
After one month of changed lifestyle, I dropped down 5 kg. Seeing the weight come off and fitting into smaller clothes was perhaps the best motivator. Even though sometimes I allowed myself to eat a piece of cake or pizza, I still kept on losing weight and never returned to emotional eating cycle. Introducing these changes into my lifestyle, I managed to lose 15 kg in total.
My journey has been more like a roller coaster ride of trials, many errors, and was definitely not an overnight success. I had bad and good days, but I felt that quitting meant giving up on myself.
If I could give advice to other people wanting to lose weight but failed almost every time they tried, start by making better choices, first of all - eating less quantity, and learn to love yourself, which will eventually lead to eating healthier and getting into shape. Don’t try to lose weight by going on rigorous diets. Don’t set a specific time frame for losing the weight, because each of us is different. Discover a form of exercise you love. If you don't love your workout, you will not do it. And most importantly, believe in yourself. Believe that you deserve to be the best version of yourself!