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Tutor Istvan Zoltan Zardai 's Column

On entering a new phase of life

Weekly Topic: To Whom Entering to a New Phase of Life…

Mar 28, 2020

We all go through big changes in life.
Some of us move to new countries. Some of us become parents. Or we lose our parents. We change jobs. And sometimes we have to deal with sudden events, like the current epidemic.
Change is unavoidable. Therefore, it is best to learn how to deal with the emotions it causes.
 
Entering a new phase in life can lead to several different experiences. Just to list a few, one can feel forlorn, passionate, excited, sad, overwhelmed, exuberant, restless, or overjoyed. And the list could go on and on. Often we feel many conflicting emotions at the same time.
 
How to stay calm and manage these clashing feelings?
 
One of my techniques is to focus on the details of my plans for the following weeks. Because I often get nervous in the last days before a big move or before taking on a new job, it is nice to occupy myself with going through the precise details of what I need to pack, checking again my contract, and asking my friends for advice they have for me.
 
Another thing that is always helpful, is to talk with my mom. We make a coffee, have a slice of cake, and talk about nice old memories, fun things that our family did together, and the future. Sharing our emotions and having a good laugh (or shedding a tear) can help to get rid of the pressure.
 
In the end things always work out. Sometimes, it takes longer, sometimes faster. People always find their place in their new environments. And then, they can start making the most of it. That's why I try to look at the new challenges as something exciting, rather than as something scary. They are opportunities to learn new things and to see new sides of the world.
 
Stay safe and heads up!
 
 
Saying good bye to Mike, a nice old friend in Oxford.

On my first weekend near my new accommodation in Japan. It was a big change to move to a new, different culture. It was also a very rewarding, and humbling one.

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