You are not alone. No one likes to be judged or feel like they can't do any better. However, constructive criticism can be a useful tool to ensure you gain valuable skills. Skills needed to achieve your goals and find your success. Thankfully, there are many things you can do to better cope and handle criticism.
Think about it...
Listen Before You Speak or Act
You can easily misunderstand people if you allow your emotions to take over, without fully listening to the other person. Initially, criticism doesn't feel good, and all you want to do is make excuses or run the other way, instead of listening through your positive filter. When your emotions cloud your judgment, you don’t think as clearly or rationally.
Don't think about what you feel now or want to say. Focus on what others say, instead. Ask them to repeat it. Be clear you understand them and their message first. Then develop a response or say thank you. Just because someone provides criticism doesn't mean it's negative, automatically right, or require justification or thorough response from you.
Reflect and Dissect It
For a moment, please take in what the person said and identify it. Is it constructive or destructive criticism? Does this person often have your back? Are they right? Do you believe in your abilities? Not every criticism is honest, accurate, or worth your time.
Find and Assume the Positive
Always assume what people are telling you or saying is positive. Let them be the ones to correct you. Then you know for sure their true intentions are not to help you anyway. Therefore, their criticism is a waste of your time to even think about it for one moment.
While you want to assume the positive, please don't assume you know everything nor act like it. If you are confused by their feedback, ask questions to clarify. This way, you have a moment to dissect the feedback and ensure it's beneficial for your time. Take this moment to ask them for examples or ideas to understand further. Even if you disagree with their criticism, it provides you an excellent opportunity to learn and gain a different perspective.
However, stop giving other people's opinions too much weight or importance, if you clearly see there is a bias. While criticism can provide value, it shouldn't prevent you from being yourself or cause fear. Train yourself to focus only on the value you receive.
NOTES FROM THE PROFESSIONALS
“Criticism, like rain, should be gentle enough to nourish a man’s growth without destroying his roots.”- Frank A Clark
“It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better.
The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood, who strives valiantly; who errs and comes short again and again; because there is not effort without error and shortcomings; but who does actually strive to do the deed; who knows the great enthusiasm, the great devotion, who spends himself in a worthy cause, who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement and who at the worst, if he fails, at least he fails while daring greatly.
So that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who know neither victory nor defeat.”- Theodore Roosevelt
A QUESTION FOR YOU
How do you respond to feedback and criticism?
I’ll see you in class