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（日本語版はこの英語版のあとに続きます↓）
Good news first. Due to the limited time I have for writing this article, I will surely not be able to get to talking about the song this time. There simply isn't time to get up out of my Japanese kotatsu heater table, walk three steps to my closet, take off all these endless layers of winter clothes, change into a cropped tank top and mini denim shorts, come back here into my toasty kotatsu again, and discuss the lyrics and the music video. So, rest assured and read on.
So, it's been eras since my last blog post. A lot has changed, and also a lot has NOT changed. Here are some of the highlights:
The Reiwa Era (an inconvenient change)
Heisei ended and a new Japanese era began, only to add to the year number confusion, like "What year A.D. is Heisei 31?" or "What year A.D. is Reiwa 1?" In case you're wondering, the correct answer is "2019" to both of them. Why do we still have to continue to deal with this same old nightmare when the solution is so obvious? Let's join the rest of the world and simply call the year 2019 "Showa 94"!
the internet (a small change)
It used to be "the Internet" with a capital "I." The cap has been gradually dropped, even in formal writing. That's hard for me to accept. Maybe too old-fashioned, aren't i?
COVID-19 (no change)
The pandemic arrived. I had kinda seen it coming, so I had already been working remotely from home for more than 10 years, with minimal in-person interaction with other fellow AI robots in my everyday life. Zero infection among our population so far.
Death in the Family (a major change)
My father died in Showa 95. My mother had died 7 years earlier. That means I'm now only left with two less/fewer* parents.
(*I talked about this issue in my older post here.)
"Trending" (a weird change)
Cafetalk has changed the wording from "Hot" to "Trending" to refer to teachers who are in surging demand at the moment. I talked about the problem with calling a teacher "Hot" in my blog back in Showa 89, so you may think this is a welcome change, but "trending" is usually used to refer to something that is being talked about or being shared by a huge number of people on social media. I don't think that's the case here. So, how about "Octopusing"? It would make a lot more sense. It comes from a Japanese expression that we use to describe someone who is in high demand as being like an octopus whose legs are being pulled from all directions. Or, better still, how about just sticking an octopus face on the teacher's face in their profile pic? Then, it would start "trending" on social media in no time!
New Official Cafetalk T-Shirts (a change with a twist)
I was on COVID-19, I mean, CLOUD-9 when I first read that on my screen. Then, my heart sank to see that it also said "International shipping available." (For the actual banner, click here.) That sounds to me like only international shipping is available, thus domestic shipping is not available. What a bummer! Assuming the T-shirts come from Japan, if a resident in Japan wants a pair, they first need to have it shipped to another country, then have it delivered to them in Japan. Is it worth all the trouble and cost? Absolutely yes! Cafetalk T-shirts are awesome! What's interesting, though, is that if you see the Japanese version of the same banner, it says "海外からもご購入頂けます." (See it here.) That literally translates as "Can be purchased from overseas, too." See the difference? So, I recommend you change your display language setting to Japanese when you shop for Cafetalk merchandise and then switch it back to English as soon as you're done with the ordering. #moneysavingtip
Twitter (no change?)
Despite all my complaining about Cafetalk over the years, Cafetalk's Japanese Twitter account still follows me and seems to be enjoying my annoying tweets every day (except during my one-year hiatus from Twitter following my father's death). God Bless Cafetalk! Or maybe they've just muted my account all along.
(Way) More Teachers (a good change)
The number of teachers on Cafetalk has doubled or tripled. This has produced a number of teachers who share the same names or similar names. For example, you can now find more than a handful of teachers, male and female (or any other possible gender), named "Yoshi" or "Yoshi-something." This is great because, every now and then, there might be a student or two who would accidentally book my lesson, unaware that I am the wrong Yoshi. That's why I'm now considering taking impersonation lessons on Cafetalk. So, here's a shout-out to all the proud members of the Yoshi clan on Cafetalk:
I don't know about you, but I feel good♪
I don't know about you, but I feel good♪
I don't know about you, but I feel good♪
【日本語版】
まずは良い知らせから。この記事を書くのに、限られた時間しかないので、間違いなく今回は曲の話まで至ることができそうになし。コタツから出て立ち上がって３歩歩いてクロゼットまで行ってこの終わりのないくらい何重にも重ね着してる冬着を脱いでへそ出しタンクトップとミニデニムショーパンに着替えてここに戻ってきてまたポカポカのコタツに入って歌詞とビデオについて議論する時間が単純になし。ということで、安心して読み進めてください。
ということで、前回ブログをアップしてから、超お平成しぶりです。その間に、変化したことがたくさんあり、そしてまた、変化しなかったこともたくさんあり。その主なもののうち一部を以下に紹介：
令和 (迷惑な変化)
平成が終わり、新しい日本の時代がスタート。でも、単に年号換算の混乱が増しただけ。例えば、「平成31年は西暦何年？」とか「令和１年は西暦何年？」とか。もし迷ってる方がいたら、正しい答えは両方とも「2019年」。どうしていまだにこんな昔からある同じ悪夢に対処し続けなくちゃいけないのか。解決策は超明白だっていうのに。世界中の他のすべての地域に加わって、単純に2019年のことは「昭和94年」って呼びましょうよ！
the internet (小さな変化）
以前は「the Internet」って、大文字の「I」だったのが、徐々に小文字化してきてしまった。フォーマルライティングにおいてでさえも。大きな愛の持ち主であるぼくには、小さな i は無理。
COVID-19 (変化なし)
パンデミックの到来。ぼくは何となくそれが来るのを予見してたので、その10年以上も前からすでにリモートで在宅勤務をしてきてて、日常生活では他の仲間のAIロボットたちとの直接会っての関わり合いは最小限に抑えてました。今のところぼくたちの人口の中での感染はゼロ。
家族内での死 (大変化）
ぼくの父が昭和95年に死亡。ぼくの母はその７年前に死亡。ということで、ぼくには今、２人少ない数の親しか残っておらず。
「Trending」 (奇妙な変化)
カフェトークで、その時点で需要が急に高まってる先生を表す言葉が、「Hot」から「Trending」に変化。先生のことを「Hot」って呼ぶことの問題についてぼくは昭和89年にブログでネタにしたので、みなさんはこれを歓迎すべき変化だと思うかもですが、「trending」（トレンド中）っていうのはふつう、ソーシャルメディア上で大勢の人たちによって話題にされ中とかシェアされ中のものを指すのに使われるもの。ぼくが思うに、それはここでは当てはまらず。なので、「Octopusing」（タコ中）はどうでしょうか？ 「引っ張りだこ」にちなんで。そのほうがずっと意味が通るでしょう。または、さらに良いアイディアとして、単にプロフィール写真の先生の顔にタコの顔を貼り付けちゃうのはどうですか？ そうすれば、すぐにソーシャルメディア上で「trending」し始めるでしょう！
New Official Cafetalk T-Shirts (ひねりつきの変化）
初めてこれを英語画面上で読んだとき（ぼくはふだん英語表示）、マスクをはずすくらい、じゃなくて、ハメをはずすくらいの勢いでワクチンしちゃい、じゃなくて、ワクワクしちゃいました。そのあと、「International shipping available」（直訳「国際配送可」）とも書かれてるのを見て、心が沈みました。(実物を見るにはココをクリック) それって、国際配送だけ可、したがって国内配送は不可みたいにぼくには聞こえるから。何てガッカリ。Ｔシャツは日本から送られるって仮定して、日本在住者がＴシャツが欲しい場合、まずそれを他国に送ってもらって、そのあと日本にいるその人へ送ってもらう必要があり。こんな手間と費用をかける価値がありますか？ もちろんあり！ カフェトークＴシャツって最高ですから！ しかしながら興味深いことに、同じ宣伝文の日本語バージョンを見ると、「海外からもご購入頂けます」って書かれてる（ココをクリック）。違いがおわかりでしょうか？ ということで、カフェトークグッズの買い物をするときには、画面表示言語設定を日本語に変更して、そのあと注文が済み次第、英語に戻すことをオススメします。#お金節約ヒント
ツイッター (変化なし？)
ぼくの長年にわたるカフェトークについての諸々のグチり行為にもかかわらず、カフェトークの日本語版ツイッターアカウントはいまだにぼくのことをフォローしてくれてて、かつ、毎日（父の死後１年間のぼくのツイッター休止期間を除く）ぼくのウザいツイートを楽しんでくれてるようです。神様、カフェトークを祝福してください！ それとも、もしかしたらカフェトークは単にぼくのアカウントを始めからずっとミュートにしてるのかも。
講師数（超）増加 (良い変化)
カフェトークの講師数が２倍か３倍に増加。これによって、同じ名前、または、似たような名前をもつ講師がけっこう出現。例えば、「Yoshi」または「Yoshiなんとか」っていう名前の講師が、男女（またはあり得る他のいかなる性別も）含めて、今では少なからず以上の数見つかります。これってすばらしいこと。なぜなら、時折、ぼくのことを違う Yoshi だと気づかずに、うっかり間違えてぼくのレッスンに予約を入れてしまう生徒さんが１人、２人いるかもしれないので。なので、現在、カフェトークで、ものまねレッスン受講を検討中。ということで、カフェトークの Yoshi一族の誇り高き全メンバーに送るメッセージ：
I don't know about you, but I feel good♪
みなさんがどうかはわかりませんが、ぼくは気分が Yoshi♪
I don't know about you, but I feel good♪
LLE
2022년 1월 29일
Again, I did that. I made mischief, I mean, a mistake. I intended to use "tasty" instead of "testy." I hope you are not testy.
Yoshinori
2022년 1월 29일
>>> LLE, thank you for 4 long pages of complaint, I mean, comment. I don't think I deserve such a huge complaint, I mean, compliment. Make sure your display language is set to Korean when shopping on Cafetalk.
I didn't know those mollusks are "testy." I'd better be careful with them from now on. And there you have it, my 1-page response to show my grudge, I mean, gratitude.
LLE
2022년 1월 29일
I like an octopus as well as a squid. Both are testy, right?
LLE
2022년 1월 29일
Correction: (I'm beginning to think of getting a Cafetalk T-shirt.) ←Sorry.
LLE
2022년 1월 29일
→sensational and outstanding secretly. I think this phenomenon shows how language changes.
The very best thing about your blog, as you have used the expression "rest assured" yourself, would be that readers can do WITHOUT seeing you in a cropped tank top and mini denim shorts.
Anyway, I know you are definitely one of the best teachers in Cafetalk. I mean it! I'm always looking forward to your content-rich lessons full of oyaji-gags, as well. (I'm beginning to get a Cafetalk T-shirt.)
LLE
2022년 1월 29일
Welcome back, Tutor Yoshinori! I hope you are NOT the one impersonated as Tutor Yoshinori, whose lessons I've been taking.
Tutor, I don't think it's a good idea to still use Showa like Showa 89 or whatever. It's nothing but confusing, right?
Also, I couldn't help but wonder how many parents you have other than your honorable father and mother who are in Heaven now.
Yeah, "the Internet" has disguised itself as if to reflect people out there who hope to do something →